Thank you to all of you you have taken the time to read my Muskoka Recap and left beautiful comments. You are all so kind and supportive. Thank you for all the encouragement. You keep me going
Is it fair to say I had a week off when I ran 4 times? It sure does feel like it. I did 2 clinic runs and 2 runs with the dogs. The clinic runs were great as i could maintain an pace that felt comfortable and throw in a few surges here and there. While the runs with the dogs were necessary as they need to keep up on there training. Also, with the stag on Wednesday and the Wedding Friday, they needed some wearing out as they’d be hanging out at the house for extended hours. Thanks to Alan (Casey’s brother) they weren’t alone too long.
I am curious to see how my body responds to normal training again as I need to get back at it. Tomorrow i plan on 37.5km. That’s 3 laps of the Run For The Toad course. It feels like I’ve lost so much since Muskoka ironman. We’ll have to see I guess.
I’ve wanted to say that since I was 8 years old. I am an ironman. Yes, only half (70.3) of one, but I can now see myself finishing a full.
Casey and I were running late race morning, as usual, so instead of going to the designated parking at Deerhurst airport and busing over, she dropped me off at Deerhurst Resort and drove to the airport to take the bus back to the start. When I was, about to walk away from the car she wished me good luck, gave me a kiss and I sobbed, not a full-fledged cry. More of a holy shit there is no turning back. “How am I going to survive? I can’t swim”.
Life happens in the mind! When I was 8 and said I wanted to be an iron man, I was told “but you can’t swim”, So, the movie “Steve can’t swim” plays in my mind, and my reality is I can’t swim.
Leaving the comforts of Casey and the car with my gear to go and swim 2km in open water was my way of attempting to put on a different movie and therefore changing my reality, and, yes, it was so scary I kinda wept.
The intense fear did not last too long. As I walked into the transition area with my gear, I witnessed over 1500 other athletes all getting ready to do the same thing I was about to. The energy was boundless and almost overpowering. I immediately started to relax. I was here to join a club. Not like the mile high club, but a club of ironmen.
After setting up my transition area and going over my T1 and T2 steps about 8 times in my head I was ready. I put on my wet suit and went looking for my coach, Dee. She was over in her spot getting set up listening to tunes and getting in the zone. Once her and Evan, another athlete she coaches and boyfriend, were ready, we headed the 500m down to the start.
I spent most of the walk talking, mostly about nothing. It is what I do when I’m nervous. When I’m scared senseless, it’s pretty much verbal diarrhea. Dee went over everything we had discussed the last 6 months it seemed. Swim techniques, transition stuff, bike stuff, don’t get caught racing better riders on the bike too soon, it’s a long ride with lots of hills. Your adrenalin will make you think you’re not going as hard as you really are so watch your heart rate. Don’t sprint out on the run. It’s my strong point and I ‘ll feel like a million bucks after the bike transition and will need to control myself not to go out to fast and burn out. It is a half marathon after all. Still, the only movie playing in my head had me drowning. They drop me off at my wave (the other 35-39 year olds with red swim caps on), we bid each other farewell and have a good race.
Now I’m alone again. I head into the water to get my body used to the temperature of Lake Peninsula and proceed to my waves start. 6 minutes to go. “Holy shit I’m gonna drown”. So once again I find some people to chat with. I find another guy who has never done a Ironman before and he looks pretty scared too. I feel better. Misery does love company. 3 minutes. I move around within my wave trying to find the spot of least resistance so to not get trampled when all the strong swimmers take off. 1 minute. “Jesus Christ, what the hell am I doing”. “I can’t swim”. “2 damn kilometers in open water”. 1 hour is a long time to go without being able to touch the ground. I get that feeling, 98% excited, 2% scared….or is it the other way around? 98% scared and 2% excited. That is what makes this so intense. That is why this is a life changing event.
The horn sounds. I dive in and begin the breaststroke. People pass me like I’m standing still. I get kicked 2 or 3 times and shoved like 5 times. I don’t back off. I switch to front crawl. “one-two-three-breath, one-two-three-breath”. I get bumped again but only stroke harder, “one-two-three-breath”. After 10 repeats of that, I switch back to breaststroke and count off 20 strokes, than back to front crawl. I see the first big red buoy coming up, and think 250 meters. I only have to do what I just did 7 more times and laugh. For the first time I think, “I can do this”. The first movie reel is taken off. As I’m rounding the second buoy I hear Evan yell, “GO Steve!!”. My heart races. Go…GO. Back into front crawl, “one-two-three-breath”. Then I think ” how in the hell did Evan see me?” “one-two-three-breath”. Half way…..ouch. Someone karate chopped me right in the calf. I stopped and went under. I panic, get a quick fear of drowning……then power on “one-two-three-breath”. I make the last turn towards shore and 500 meters to go. The second reel is off. I pull up beside another guy with a red cap on like me. He’s doing breaststroke. I ask him if he wants to go for a bike ride after this. He says you bet. “Can’t drown on the bike”. he gasps. I think to myself, “that’s right!, and I’m not gonna drown here”. I power into front crawl again, “one-two-three-breath”. I look up and see a hand reaching for mine. I grab the hand and put my foot down. Land!. 53 minutes and 24 second. Exactly as planned. I can swim! The movie has officially changed. Lets ride!
20 feet from the shore, a girl is yelling for me to come over. She expertly pulls the top of my wetsuit down and orders me onto my butt, where she grabs the collar of my suit and rips off my suit in one swift motion. WOW, that was cool. I grab my suit and run the 300 meters up the asphalt hill everyone complained about. It was the best run of my life. I didn’t feel any pain on my feet. I didn’t even notice the hill. I can swim.
I head into the bike transition (T1) and act out the steps I imagined earlier. Once on the bike I begin to settle into my cadence. Working the gears in accordance to the hills trying to keep my cadence even. 12km in there is a massive downhill. I push it into the big gear and get down into the bars to take full advantage. Halfway down I glance at my computer, 70kph. I look up and hear and explosion and feel my back end wobble. Shit, a flat. You’ve got to be kidding. My first ironman attempt and I get a flat. I pull over and begin the changing it. As I’m putting in the new tube I notice a tear in the side wall of the tire. O crap, I think, that can’t be good. Oh well, keep moving, GO, GO. I pump up the tire with the old-fashioned hand pump and get riding again. OK , I think, I only lost about 10 minutes there. I can still break 3:30 for the bike. Just ride my race. Keep fueling and hydrating and work the gears.
5 km later, I look down at my back wheel. Shit, it’s not holding air. It’s getting low. NO, it can’t be. Yup. It is. Now what? I keep riding. 5 km’s later I look down again. It’s really low. I pull over and feel it. It’s almost flat. I get off the bike and get the hand pump out again. There goes another 3 minutes. Then I’m riding again. Now the brain is really working hard. If I have to do this every 10 km I’m gonna lose 3 minutes every time. That’s 6 minutes for my competitors. I’m going to finish last in my age group. That sucks. This can’t be happening.
30km in, I pull over to pump it up again. 3 more minutes. While I’m doing it, I begin yelling to bikers as they pass “spare tire” “extra tube”. A girl stops, tells me she’s seen me pulled over twice already and then pass her. She gives me a spare. God bless you. I wish I knew your name or got your race number. I would love to thank you in person. You are one of the reasons Ironman is a great sport.
I pass the 35km bottle exchange and pull over to pump up again. I contemplate changing the tire to the one the girl gave me but don’t. Another 3 minutes and I’m riding. Now my mind is going squirrely. I paid $120 for an Ironman jacket that I’m not even going to be able to wear I think to myself then laugh. Is that really, what this is about? A jacket? Then I remind myself about that movie in my mind that dictates my life. This is about setting a goal that scares crap out of you, and accomplishing it. It’s about growing and learning about oneself. Knowing yourself. Knowing what you can do. Realizing, that there is a difference in knowing the path and walking the path, and dammit, I want to wear that jacket.
42km, time to change the tire. I pull over and begin changing. I get the new one in and Bam! It blows. Are you kidding me. Three!!!. 3 flat tires. Who does this happen to? And on my first race? I want to cry. All the training, the sacrifice, the dreaming, goal setting life changing stuff going on in my head. Now what. I start to put the old tire, the one that was leaking slowly, back in. Just then, the white van of blessed savior pulls up and I guy sticks his head out. “Need a hand” he asks. I stand up and hand him my wheel. “Give me a chance to finish,” I sob. He gets to work. I tell him there is a tear in the rubber and the tubs keep popping through and either blow or leak slowly. He fixes it with some tape and gets me going. While he is doing this, I realize that with all the commotion I haven’t been fueling the last hour. I eat a power bar and a gel pack and drink some e-load. Then I’m riding again. I don’t ride too hard, as I’m scared that if I go to hard it will blow again. I just want a chance to do the run. I look down about 5 km later and the tire looks fine. I grab my water bottle, take a pull, put it back, downshift twice, stand up on the peddles and start mashing. Passing 10 people in about 30 seconds. I’m gonna get a chance to run I thought just as I passed the 50km sign.
The rest of the ride was glorious. Beautiful scenery, awesome hills. Man I love riding hills. I’m coming down this really steep hill in the big gear and notice a 90 degree turn coming up. Then I remember Dee telling me about a 90 degree turn on a steep decent with a huge uphill right after the turn and immediately drop to the little gear and stop peddling. By doing this, I don’t get to take full advantage of the hill. However, Dee was right. We turn left and there is a big climb, and I see about a dozen riders suffering stuck in the big gear. I down shift 4 times and stand up. I dance all the way up passing all of them. Aerosmith’s Dream on is playing in my head and I find myself singing. I drop back down into the bars. Take a sip of water, thank Dee, and keep going.
Now everyone has said the last 20m of the bike is the hardest. Man, I wish people would not always be right. It sure was tough. I came over one hard climb and look down the hill only to see another equally hard climb on the other side and thought “give me a break”. With about 4km to go I’m on a tough climb and pull up beside a guy (rob) and I said…do these things ever stop. He laughed “Not yet”. Once atop the hill we chatted briefly. I told him I had 3 flats, he said he had 1. We had a chuckle at our rotten luck and went about our race.
As I pull into the run, transition area (T2) people were everywhere. Spectators, marshal’s, athletes, staff. It was a lot to take in. My transition was exactly like the role-playing I did in my head before the race. After a quick pit stop, I hit the run. Not a half km in, I see Evan coming in. GO Evan I yell, giving him a high five. Looking down at my watch, I realize he’s going to finish in about 5 hours 2 minutes, which will beat his last years time. Good job Buddy. I surge. Finally, the run, I am a runner. Now all I have to do is run a half marathon. I start passing people like there pylons. I look at my watch and I’m doing a sub 4 minutes km pace. Whhhooooo, slow down I tell myself. This is no 5km. Then I hear Dee in my head again. “Don’t go out to fast on the run. You’re going to be excited and pumped from the transition” Dam it, How did she know that. I slowed down to about a 5 min per km pace. This is good. Legs are good, stomach good, bowels good. I plan the rest of the run in my head now. I have 2 gel packs, one a 5km and one a 15km. I’ll drink a Gatorade and half a water at each aide station and dump the rest of the water on my hat to keep me cool. I’m passing people left right and center, like they’re standing still.
The run was indeed hilly. I like hills. They are my specialty. Some say I like the pain. I like to thinks it’s because I have taught my brain to realize they aren’t that bad. Shorten your stride. Pump the arms and take it easy. You’ll be at the top in no time.
12km I hear footsteps. NO, I think. I am not going to get passed. I have never been passed on a run yet in a triathlon and I’ll be damned if it’s going to start now. Then I hear a familiar voice. ‘hey Steve” It’s rob, the guy from the last 4km from the bike. We start getting to know one another. He’s from Mississauga, this is his second Muskoka, and he loves running cruises and thinks Casey and I should go. We chat for the rest of the race while maintaining a 5 minutes 20 second per km pace. As were coming up the last hill towards Deerhurst with about 500 meters to go he says. “I’m not going to race you at the end, you take it” “No Way” I reply, we’ve come this far, don’t fade now” He said ” I’m not, this is your first, it’s your race, GO” I surged. I ran with everything I had. I sprinted through the crowds of people as the egged me on. The harder I ran the more they cheered. I glanced down at my pace 3:42 per km. Man alive! After nearly 7 hours of racing, 2 km swimming, 94 km biking, 3 flats and a half marathon i can pull of a 500 meter sprint at a 3:42 per km pace. I break the tape. I am an Ironman.
There is nothing we can’t do if our mind is in the right place. Just press play!
I’d like to thank Deanne Hiscock (coach) for showing me the way and helping me get there.
Evan for his guidance, helpful tips and motivation.
Most of all Casey. My amazing fiancée. With out her support, none of this would be possible. You inspire me to be better than I ever thought I could. Thank you
Well, training for muskoka has official finished. Did the last eay ride and open water easy swim with a few sprints last night with Coach. she says i’m ready, but and still have the “holy shit WHAT!!!” kinda going through my head.
Just knowing that I am going to be sharing a race with the worlds best See Article. Is a little daunting in itself. These are professionals that do this for a living. Now I know what Owen Wilson meant in Armageddon when he said ” I’ve got that excited scared feeling….you know. 98% excited, 2% scared…or maybe it’s the other way around 98% scared , 2 % excited…but that’s what makes the whole experience so intense”. So I’m just going to go with it and enjoy the ride…..:)
Last week I got a sore throat around wednesday. So I skipped a couple of workouts, took a boat load of vitamin C and other vitamins. Slept for what seems like forever, and started to feel better. Got back out to do some training Saturday, Sunday. Then started to feel the sore throat come back. Now I’ve developed a cough and body ache. It’s now a week later and i can feel this Virus slowly working it’s way to my chest. First off, since when to virus’s (colds) move so slowly? Second, why now? Muskoka is almost upon me.
Casey thinks it’s the body’s natural defense mechanism. Fear of failure. It gives the body a reason to quit so there is no possibility of failure. OR, if I do try and do poorly, it’s an excuse and reason why. The body sure does work in mysterious ways.
I’ts a week to go for my first ironman 70.3. Should I be nervous? I hope so….Cause I sure am. I’d much rather go for a 8 hour run then swim 2k bike 94k then run 21k….in a race format. With other people pushing me to go faster and all. They whip past you like your standing still so you have to try to pass them back. It’s not fair I tell ya….That’s a long way to go all out. I realize it’s not about going all out the whole time for your first race at any distance. Whether it’s a running race, Swim, bike or the Triathlon. Your first time at any distance is about finishing, bar none. Your first 5km running race is about finishing. Your second you can start putting some stipulations about time…lol
Since this is my first half ironman i should just be concentrating on finishing. So that I will. Enjoy the experience, do my best, take it easy when it’s time to take it easy, go hard when it’s time to go hard, and kick ass when it’s time….ah whom I kidding. There will be no kicking ass. I will do my best to enjoy the moment and experience of racing with the worlds best ironmen and women. ……and finish in 6 hours…..hehe
I just booked Casey and I at Clear Lake cottages for the weekend. I haven’ t been there since I was about 16. WOW! Seems kinda surreal.
